


How Did It Come To This

by carryaworld



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, I'm sorry I know, M/M, Matt is done with them, OG Garrison Trio, PINING KEITH, it's the buildup we all know happened, not even slowburn because there is no end to the suffering, pining for everyone, pining shiro, prekerb all the way, tagged as Sheith but no kissing here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-08 15:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15246474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carryaworld/pseuds/carryaworld
Summary: Keith has never made friends easily, but Shiro and Matt are different. Shiro's different. They make coming to the Garrison worth it.(AKA the Pre-Kerberos adventure I've wanted to write for ages)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey look it's the prekerb fic that's been lurking since finals week, it's finally done! Which means there will be two more chapters after this, hopefully by the end of the week if I proofread like the wind. Title is from Polaroid by Imagine Dragons because it just screams Keith to me and I can't help myself. 
> 
> Welcome to pine-city, enjoy!

The first time Shiro met Keith, he was speaking at a local high school to appease Iverson. Shiro didn’t necessarily mind it, but the experience was heavily dictated by the engagement of the teens he was speaking to. Today was one of the less pleasant times, as most of the students zoned out while he was talking. Needless to say, Shiro beat a quick retreat as soon as he was done, but on his way out one of the smaller boys caught his attention. The dark-haired kid was a table with a star map spread out in front of him.

 

He'd definitely been in the class Shiro had just spoken too, though he had no idea how he’d gotten out here so fast.

 

“You’re interested in the stars?” Shiro said, trying to come off as cheerful and non-threatening as possible.

 

He must have done a bad job of it because he got a wary glare in response.

 

“Yes,” the boy answered reluctantly, like it cost something for him to admit it.

 

“You should think about coming to the Garrison for our space program,” Shiro suggested.

 

An incredulous look crossed the boy’s face. “Me? You have to be kidding. Leave me alone.”

 

He was gone before Shiro even had the chance to call him back.

 

***

 

The second time was purely by chance. Shiro had a free day to kill, which meant a trip into town. Matt was neck deep in some project or other so Shiro was left to get some snack food all on his own. The Garrison let him take one of the jeeps, though he longed to get his hands on one of the hoverbikes.

 

That train of thought was probably how he ended up in a dusty lot, eyeing up a used but still snazzy red hoverbike. The number painted on the side only added to the excitement, Shiro could only guess at how fast it could get going, given the chance.

 

Shiro didn’t doubt that he could fly it, he could fly just about anything and he’d flown enough things for the Garrison to have that confidence. He ran a considering hand along the bike, imagining how it would feel beneath him. It was in good condition despite its age.

 

He has to fend off the salesman’s enthusiastic chatter, evidently it’s been here for quite a while. Shiro has deep regrets that he doesn’t have the funds for that kind of purchase right now. Not without touching the money he inherited, and he’s not willing to do that.

 

He leaned against the bike, taking things in when someone interrupted him.

 

“What are you doing here?” a surly voice demanded.

 

Shiro was more than a little surprised to find the dark haired high school student scowling fiercely at him. He held his hands up placatingly.

 

“I’m just admiring a nice piece of machinery. Do you fly?” Shiro asked casually.

 

The boy averted his gaze and scuffed his boot in the dirt. “I did.”

 

There was a lot to unpack just in those two words and the way that the boy seemed possessive of the hoverbike.

 

“If you like flying, you should consider the Garrison,” Shiro said, which earned him another filthy look. “I’m serious, think about it.”

 

“Maybe,” was the begrudging answer, but that was as good as Shiro was going to get.

 

It was only after he was back in his dorm room that he realized he’d forgotten to introduce himself or ask the kid’s name. Not that it mattered, the stand-offish teen likely wouldn’t even consider the Garrison. Something about that settled wrong with Shiro.

 

***

 

The third time, he was in a meeting with Iverson about working with one of the upper level instructors as a student teacher. His superior, normally stoic with a single-minded focus, heaved a deep sigh as Shiro caught him watching the security cameras on his desktop.

 

“Kogane is trying to make off with one of the hoverbikes again,” Iverson grumbled.

 

“Again? Who is Kogane?” Shiro asked, tacking on “Sir” as an afterthought.

 

“He’s new. Technically speaking he’s a first year, but he’s old enough and talented enough that he might just test into second or third year,” Iverson said, frowning at the screen. “If he could just stop causing so much trouble.”

 

“Is it worth having him, if he’s this much trouble?” Shiro asked. Formality was falling by the wayside, and for once Iverson didn’t give him hell for it. His long-time instructor was distracted by the problem posed by this Kogane individual.

 

 “We recruited him because of his simulation scores, they’re off the charts,” Iverson said wryly. “With a little formal training, he’ll probably leave you in the dust.”

 

Shiro’s eyebrows shot up and he leaned forward, suddenly interested. “Really?”

 

Iverson shot him a shrewd look. “What, don’t like competition Shirogane?”

 

Shiro snorted. Iverson knew him better than that. He was excited because in his three years so far at the Garrison, no one had ever come close to his scores. Being at the top was lonely. Sure, people admired him and constantly wanted to know how he did it, but there was also a faction that accused him of cheating. It put him in a strange and uncomfortable social position. He wasn’t a social person by nature, and it grated on him to put on an act for the brass and for his ‘adoring fans.’

 

“I want to help him,” Shiro blurted, and then clamped his mouth shut.

 

Iverson tapped his fingers on the desk. “Kid’s a flight risk Shiro, if you approach him outright he’ll run from you. I don’t know what his background is, his paperwork is pretty sparse.”

 

“I’m going to help him,” Shiro said firmly, his mind made up.

 

“Well, then you can start by stopping him from running off with that hoverbike,” Iverson said. “Off with you, he’s almost to the hangar doors.”

 

Shiro muttered a word under his breath as he bolted out of his chair that Iverson would surely make him run laps for. He booked it for the hangar, but Kogane was already tearing away from the Garrison on the hoverbike.  
  


“Hey, wait!” he called out, but had little hope that Kogane would hear him over the engine, much less stop. Naturally, Kogane didn’t.

  
Shiro caught his breath, watching until the other cadet disappeared in a cloud of dust. He really had his work cut out for him on this one.

 

***

 

“You did _what_?!” Matt squawked as Shiro filled him in that night before bed.

 

Matthew Holt was his best friend, roommate, and occasional bane of his existence. Matt would argue that Shiro was the real pain in the ass in their friendship, but it was a moot point. Both of them had their moments.

 

“He’s by himself Matt,” Shiro protested. “You know how they act towards me, they’re not going to act any nicer to him.”

 

Matt buried his face in his hands, “The way those assholes act is exactly why we can’t afford to take in a stray, Shiro. I’ve heard talk about him, he’s a major loner and people already don’t like him.”

 

Shiro set his jaw, and Matt knew he was doomed.

 

“Goddammit Shiro, fine. We’ll adopt your little loner child, but you owe me for this,” Matt threatened. He could already see it, this new thing of Shiro’s was going to send him over the metaphorical cliff.

 

Shiro grinned, smug in his glory.

 

Matt couldn’t let that hold. “So, what’s your plan?” he asked innocently, and the smile dropped of Shiro’s face.

 

“I, uh, don’t have one yet?” Shiro admitted sheepishly.

 

Matt gave a melodramatic sigh and flopped backwards onto Shiro’s bed. Matt had the top bunk because he was smaller, and because he’d lost seven consecutive rock-paper-scissor rounds to Shiro.

 

“What do I get for helping you come up with a plan?” Matt asked innocently.

 

Shiro sighed and resigned himself to forfeiting his pudding to Matt for a month.

 

***

 

Shiro thought he was going to have to peer into every dark corner of the Garrison to find this Kogane character. Oh, how very wrong he was.

 

He was on his way to the simulator early the next morning when someone stepped abruptly in front of him. He skidded to a halt, nearly flattening the smaller figure in his path.

 

“Gah!” Shiro gasped. “Where did you come from?!” He’d thought he was alone in the hallway.

 

Dark purple eyes framed by messy black hair glared up at him. “You were in the hangar last night, are you going to tell on me?” the boy demanded.

 

Shiro blinked. This must be Kogane then. He looked oddly familiar, but Shiro couldn’t quite put a finger on it.

 

“Uh, no?” Shiro managed, not sounding particularly coherent. Wow, this was getting off to a great start.

 

“You’re the golden boy though,” Kogane said, disbelieving. “Why wouldn’t you tell?”

 

Shiro winced. He hated that nickname. “Call me Shiro, please,” he said quietly. “I’m not going to tell Iverson because it’s not my business.” He didn’t have the heart to tell this spitfire that Iverson already knew about his transgressions.

 

Shiro could almost feel Kogane making a decision and waited him out. He could tell already that this was not a person to be pushed into talking.

 

Finally, the younger man mumbled, “I’m Keith.”

 

Despite the early hour, a smile crept onto Shiro’s face. “It’s nice to meet you, Keith.”

 

There was an awkward pause and Keith shuffled his feet, clearly ready to flee.

 

“I’m going to the simulator, you’re welcome to come along,” Shiro offered.

 

Keith frowned at him, and Shiro was taken by how expressive his face was. “I’m not allowed in outside of class,” Keith muttered petulantly.

 

“You’re allowed if you’re with me,” Shiro reassured him.

 

Keith huffed, “Golden boy.”

 

Shiro pointedly ignored that and resumed his journey. “Are you coming?” he asked, glancing at where Keith still stood.

 

A flurry of emotions passed over Keith’s face and then he hurried to catch up with Shiro. Shiro kept his smile to himself. Something told him that his life was about to get very interesting.

 

***

 

Keith had no idea what to make of the golden boy. When he’d brought the hoverbike to the hangar late last night, he’d been practically shaking with fear. Someone had seen him, someone who was favored by the higher ups. Would he get kicked out? Keith very much didn’t want to get kicked out, it’d taken a lot to get here in the first place. Which is why he confronted Shiro, hoping to prevent such an outcome.

 

Golden boy, Shiro, was nothing like Keith expected. He’d only caught a couple glances of the other boy in passing, usually when Shiro was in one of the Garrison’s few public areas. There seemed to always be people around him, vying for his attention. And Shiro was always smiling or looking the picture of perfection, even with his forelock falling practically into his eyes.

 

It didn’t help that Keith was almost 90% certain that Shiro had been the cadet that spoke in his class, and that had recommended more than once that he consider the Garrison. Shiro didn’t seem to remember him, which was probably a good thing because Keith hadn’t been friendly to him.

 

But as Keith filtered through their first interaction, trailing after Shiro to the simulator, he didn’t have the pompous air that Keith had been expecting. Shiro was quiet and unassuming, even despite his bulk. He had several inches on Keith, and many more pounds of muscle.

 

Keith stepped uncertainly into the simulator room after Shiro swiped them in with his ID badge. It was unsurprising that a top fighter pilot student would have after-hours access. Shiro went directly into the simulator and strapped in, leaving Keith hovering in the doorway.

 

“You coming? I want to practice something first, but then I want to see you fly,” Shiro said easily, and the smile he threw Keith was surprisingly friendly.

 

“Uh, okay,” Keith mumbled, claiming a seat in the communications chair. He wanted to watch Shiro fly since after all, he had a reputation.

 

“I heard you’re a pretty talented pilot,” Shiro said conversationally as he set up the simulation run.

 

Keith blinked. Shiro had heard about him? “I-uh. I guess?” Keith said uncertainly.

 

He was good enough to get into the Garrison, and good enough that the instructors were paying attention to him, but… Keith had always had a hard time judging his own worth and being at the Garrison felt like a hyper-realistic dream.

 

Besides, Keith didn’t fly to be the best. Sure, it was a pleasant side effect, but Keith flew because it made him feel alive. In the cockpit, or on a hoverbike, Keith felt settled in himself. On the ground he didn’t belong, didn’t fit into the mold that most other people did. Like now.

 

Shiro was looking at him curiously, those gray eyes sparking with something Keith didn’t recognize.

 

“Well, get comfortable,” Shiro said with a wicked grin and faced forward.

 

Keith was floored, watching Shiro fly. He didn’t recognize this simulation, which meant it was far above his own paygrade, but Shiro navigated it like it was nothing. There was one especially rough part, and Shiro gave a little whoop as they cleared it. Oddly, Keith found himself smiling.

 

When the simulation ended, Shiro was soaked in sweat but grinning like an idiot. “Your turn!” he told Keith, getting up out of the seat.

 

Keith was unsure about flying in front of Shiro, but the fanatic gleam in Shiro’s eyes was catching. There was no saying no, not when Keith recognized the same unbridled joy in Shiro that he felt when he flew. Standing, Keith shuffled over to sink into the pilot’s seat. It was still warm from where Shiro vacated it, and Shiro himself leaned around Keith to fiddle with the settings.

 

“What’s the highest level you’ve flown?” Shiro asked, and Keith rattled off a number.

 

Shiro set it to the level above that. Keith looked up at him, an eyebrow arched.

 

“I have confidence in you,” Shiro said easily, and settled into the comms chair.

 

Keith took a breath and flipped on the simulation.

 

***

 

Iverson wasn’t kidding when he said Keith could fly. The further they got into the simulation, the more Shiro’s excitement rose. Keith was the best instinctual pilot that Shiro had ever seen. It was almost as if he felt the plane, even stimulated, and moved it as if it was a mere extension of his body.

 

And good god, Keith clearly loved it.

 

A thrill shot up his spine, and as Keith whipped the simulation fighter jet around a tight turn, the future flashed before Shiro’s eyes. He liked what he saw.

 

***

 

One morning in the simulator, however, was not enough to win Keith’s trust. He eluded Shiro constantly and was harder to approach than your average alley cat. Shiro settled for greeting Keith in the halls and making small talk. It took nearly three weeks of Shiro being persistently friendly before Keith stopped flinching when Shiro called his name.

 

It was a quiet evening when Keith sought out Shiro in one of his usual study nook. Matt, who normally accompanied him, was in the lab with his father. Matt had been observing Shiro’s slow progress, and quipped, “Maybe you should leave out a can of tuna to get him to come.”

 

Shiro had on many occasions offered to Keith that he could join them to study. Keith had seen Matt from afar and was as wary of him as he’d initially been of Shiro. Shiro liked to think Keith had warmed up to him.

 

Keith looked wound tight as he fidgeted at the edge of Shiro’s desk. Shiro was about to ask if he was okay, but Keith beat him to it.

 

“Can we go to the simulator?” Keith blurted.

 

Shiro checked his watch and regretfully shook his head. “Iverson has a bunch of bigwigs down there, showing them around.”

 

Keith’s face shut down, and Shiro found himself packing up his things unconsciously. “I know something else we can do though,” Shiro said hurriedly.

 

Skepticism warred with Keith’s urgent need to do something, and the latter won out. Keith let Shiro lead him down to the mat rooms, understanding dawning as Shiro headed for the lockers.

 

“We’re going to work out?” Keith asked.

 

“How about sparring?” Shiro answered, piling his books on the bench as he reached for his gym clothes. He kept a set down here for when he didn’t want to go all the way back to his room.

 

Keith watched Shiro, eyes lidded and assessing. Shiro waited. In the couple weeks that he’d spent reaching out to Keith, he’d come to enjoy the little bit that Keith had gave him in return. Dry quips, incredible talent, and a killer eye for detail, he was definitely someone Shiro wanted in his life.

 

“Okay,” Keith said, shrugging off the jacket portion of his cadet uniform, leaving him in just a white undershirt.

 

Shiro surveyed him curiously. Keith was whip thin, but the muscles corded on his arms and shoulders were the real deal. This would be interesting for sure. He turned back to his locker, fingers bypassing the gloves he usually liked to wear to spar to grasp the tape. It didn’t take him very long to tape his hands, it was a routine that was ingrained into him.

 

Wordlessly, Shiro offered Keith the tape. Keith scoffed, and Shiro raised an eyebrow.

 

“Do you want to hurt your hands?” Shiro asked.

 

Once upon a time he hadn’t taped his hands either, until he sprained his wrist and Matt made fun of him for weeks.

 

Keith held Shiro’s gaze sullenly before dropping his eyes to the floor. “I don’t know how.”

 

Shiro blinked. “I can tape them for you, if you’d like,” he offered quietly.

 

Keith looked uneasy with this prospect, but after some hesitation thrust his hands out. Shiro briskly taped up Keith’s hands and then chucked the tape into his locker.

 

“So, have you sparred before?” Shiro asked.

 

Keith’s stare was withering.

 

Shiro held up his hands, “I was just trying to gauge your experience.”

 

“I have plenty of experience,” Keith said flatly.

 

“Guess we’ll find out,” Shiro teased.

 

Even after Keith sent him careening onto the mats for the third time, Shiro didn’t regret riling him up. It’d been a while since he’d gotten his ass handed to him, and for now the novelty of it was enough to outweigh the bruises he’d have tomorrow.

 

“Are you done yet?” Keith asked, offering Shiro a hand up from the floor.

 

Shiro waved him off and sprawled out on his back. “I’m done.”

 

He’d held his own for the most part and got a few good hits in, but Keith was fast and Shiro hadn’t pushed himself this hard in a while.

 

“Where’d you learn to fight like that?” Shiro asked, rubbing at a forming bruise on his thigh.

 

Keith’s expression closed down. “Here and there,” he said evasively.

 

Shiro patted the floor next to him and changed the subject. “Alright Chuck Norris, keep your secrets.”

 

“Chuck Norris? He’s so overrated,” Keith grumbled, flopping down onto the mats next to Shiro.

 

“He’s a classic!” Shiro protested. Keith arched his perfect, dark eyebrows, and Shiro knew he’d lost. At least he’d gotten Keith to be chatty with him. Baby steps.

 

***

 

Matt eyed Shiro uneasily as the former staggered into their room sweaty and with a wild gleam in his eye.

 

“What did you do,” Matt accused.

 

Shiro, high on life, grinned and flopped down on his bed. “Absolutely nothing.”

 

Matt glared, “Get off your bed and shower, you filthy liar.”

 

Shiro obeyed, dragging himself back up off the bed and down the hall to the dorm shower, his towel slung over his shoulder. The bounce in his step was enough to leave a bad taste in Matt’s mouth.

 

Matt was at his desk, working through a complicated engineering problem, when Shiro returned from his suspiciously long shower. Matt generously gave Shiro almost a full two minutes to put his shower things away before he brandished a pencil at him.

 

“Spill.”

 

Shiro feigned innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The wild gleam was gone from his eyes, but he was still hyped up.

 

“Don’t pull that shit with me Shirogane, I know you far too well to be fooled by that,” Matt grouched.

 

Shiro shifted his weight from foot to foot, deliberating, and then caved. “I sparred with Keith, and oh my god is he amazing Matt! He kicked my ass!”

 

Matt stared at him, deadpan. “And you’re excited about this?”

 

Shiro moved, and the only way that Matt could think to describe it was _flailing_. It was terrifying on a man of Shiro’s sheer size. Matt thought he might need to take cover under the desk.

 

“Yes! I haven’t had a good sparring partner in ages, Matt. Ages,” Shiro whimpered.

 

“Thanks,” Matt said sourly, having been Shiro’s on and off partner. Matt was only passable at athletic things and had minimal enthusiasm for it, whereas Shiro excelled and simply pulled Matt along with him.

 

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Shiro backpedaled immediately, and Matt waved a hand at him.

 

“What you mean to tell me is, you’ve got a new sparring partner and haven’t even introduced me to him?” Matt said, narrowing his eyes.

 

“He’s shy?” Shiro offered weakly.

 

“Nuh uh, nope. Won’t fly. Bring him to lunch, Shiro. I must meet this _Keith_ character for myself,” Matt said sternly.

 

“I’ll do my best,” Shiro agreed, knowing full well that getting Keith to interact with another human would be a challenge. Keith had learned early that the Garrison cadets could be vicious and preferred to keep his distance.

 

***

 

It was several days before Shiro managed to talk Keith into having lunch with him and Matt. They were starting to get into a routine of sparring at night, and it was one of those nights that Shiro finally convinced Keith to join him and Matt at lunch.

 

“I’ll come,” Keith said begrudgingly. “But I don’t understand why you want me to meet this Matt so badly.”

 

Shiro shot Keith a surprised look from his spot on the floor where he was stretching. “Matt is my best friend, I’d like for you two to know each other.”

 

“But why?” Keith asked again, clearly not grasping this concept.

 

Shiro shrugged, “Why wouldn’t I want my friends to be friends? You’d like Matt, he’s interesting.” He chuckled. “Matt also very much wants to meet you.”

 

Something unreadable passed across Keith’s face. “We’re friends?” he asked hesitantly. It was a foreign concept to him, but something he desperately craved.

 

Shiro offered him a warm smile, “Yeah, we’re friends Keith.”

 

***

 

“So where is he?” Matt asked impatiently around a mouthful of broccoli.

 

Shiro, who was eating his lunch like a reasonable human, shrugged. “He has class before this.”

 

“I do too, and I’m here,” Matt countered.

 

Shiro shot him a quelling look as a small, dark-haired cadet approached their table.

 

“Hey Keith, grab a seat,” Shiro said, switching to a hundred-watt smile.

 

Keith was both nervous and perplexed to find that it was only Shiro and Matt sitting at the table. “Are you sure no one else is sitting here?” he asked uncertainly.

 

Matt burst out laughing. “Oh, no. Definitely not.”

 

Shiro sighed through his nose. “Keith, this is Matt. Matt, Keith. What he means to say is that we have a long-standing claim on this table.”

 

“Wrong. Here’s the short of it: for all that the Garrison likes to tote the two of us around as star students, we’re misfits. Welcome to the island,” Matt said with a grand gesture.

 

Shiro was certain that Keith was going to run for the hills. Instead, he laughed.

 

“I think I’ll fit in here then,” Keith said, his expression easing into something more relaxed.

  
Matt looked pleased with himself.

 

“Yeah, you will,” Shiro agreed.

 

Lunch with Keith and Matt became a happy tradition, though Keith did not warm up to Matt immediately.

 

 

***

 

“Why doesn’t he like me?” Matt whined, not for the first time. Or the last.

 

Shiro looked up from his physics homework. “What do you mean? Keith definitely likes you.”  
  


“Then why won’t he hang out with me when you’re busy?” Matt huffed.

 

Shiro turned his attention back to his work, shoulders lifting in a casual shrug. “He’s slow to warm up to people. You saw how long it took him to start spending time with me.”

 

Matt flung himself on the floor, “But I’m so lovable!”

 

A snort. “Are you sure about that? Your socks smell awful and you tell bad jokes,” Shiro hummed.

 

Matt glared at him. “Your gym shorts smell worse.”

 

Shiro chuckled. “Touche. Give him time Matt.”

 

Matt sighed, “Fine.”

 

***

 

Matt didn’t get a true opportunity to spend time alone with Keith until Shiro was off base for a week, training in the desert.

 

Keith and Matt got along, sure, but without Shiro not a lot of talking went on.

 

The fourth day of Shiro’s absence, Keith got stir crazy and sought out Matt in the room he shared with Shiro. Matt was surprised to find Keith on the other side of his door but let him in without question.

 

They passed time in silence, both of them working on their respective homework, until Keith asked, “Why doesn’t Shiro go by his full name? I’ve seen it on the record board.”

 

Matt chewed on his pencil, something Shiro absolutely hated. “I think that’s something you have to ask him,” he said quietly. “It’s personal, if that’s what you’re wondering. He’s been just Shiro as long as I’ve known him.”

 

 “Huh,” Keith said thoughtfully, brows furrowed in thought. “You’ve known him a while then?”

 

Matt laughed. “Yeah, I have. You could say that I adopted him.”

 

Keith tilted his head curiously.

 

Matt elaborated, “We were both top of our respective classes and people got jealous. Most people only get to see surface level Shiro, the Garrison golden boy. But as I’m sure you’ve realized, that’s not really who he is. He was having a hard time living up to all their standards.”

 

“Why didn’t they just like him for who he is?” Keith asked with surprising ferocity.

 

Matt fixed him with an assessing look. “Some people can’t recognize a good thing,” he said, resigned. “They want him to do well, and then accuse him of cheating when he does.”

 

“Shiro would never cheat!” Keith exclaimed, eyes blazing.

 

Matt smiled tiredly at him. “No, of course he wouldn’t. He’s just that good.”

 

This didn’t appease Keith, who simmered in his fury.

 

“Don’t worry Keith, I’ve gotten back at a lot of them,” Matt said.

  
Keith shot him a questioning look, which Matt answered with a simple evil lift of an eyebrow.

 

“Besides, he’s got us to look out for him,” Matt said easily. “That’s what friends are for.”

 

Keith seemed to consider this and smiled slowly. “Yeah, friends.”

 

***

 

Keith and Matt’s relationship was much better after that. Shiro wondered about it, and asked Matt one night when they were up late doing homework.

 

“What changed between you and Keith?” Shiro asked, raising an eyebrow at Matt over some nasty-looking astrophysics.

 

Matt didn’t look up from his work, simply shrugging his shoulders. “We have common goals,” he said nonchalantly.

 

Shiro waited, expecting more. Matt said nothing else though, and left Shiro to contemplate silently what he might have meant by that.


	2. Chapter 2

“Kogane is doing incredibly well,” Iverson informed Shiro, leaning back in his chair.

 

“Keith, sir,” Shiro corrected him mildly.

 

When he’d finally gained Keith’s trust, he’d fessed up to why he’d been in the hangar that first night. He’d also fessed up that Iverson knew Keith was stealing a hoverbike to sneak out on. Keith hadn’t liked that last part one bit, and Shiro had acted the middle man to work out a truce between Keith and Iverson.

 

“Don’t try me, Shirogane,” Iverson warned, but it was half-hearted.

 

Shiro smiled innocently.

 

It was a lost cause, after all. Iverson had a lot of respect and even a little affection for Shiro, and Keith… Keith drove Iverson up a wall while simultaneously blowing everyone else’s simulation scores out of the water. At the moment, Iverson was more impressed than annoyed with Keith, and at the very least Iverson was pleased with Keith’s grit.

 

Iverson pinched the bridge of his nose and grumbled something about retirement. Shiro waited patiently to see why he’d been called into Iverson’s office in the first place. It wasn’t for idle chit-chat, not based on the high-level brass that had been lurking the halls the last two weeks. Keith hated it because they ogled at him almost as much as they ogled at Shiro.

 

“I’m going to recommend you for a mission, Shiro,” Iverson said, suddenly serious.

 

“What kind of mission are we talking about?” Shiro asked.

 

Iverson’s mouth curled upwards at the corner. “One that would make history. I’m not at liberty to discuss it right now, but I wanted you to know that I’m submitting your scores and information. It’s slotted for the fall after your graduation.”

 

When Shiro was too shocked to say anything, Iverson added, “I’m also recommending that Holt brat that seems permanently attached to your hip as the communications officer. His father is the lead scientist for the mission.”

 

Shiro was reeling, but he nodded. This was a huge opportunity, even if he wasn’t fully informed on what it would entail. It was comforting that Matt had also been recommended.

 

“Understood, sir,” Shiro said when he finally found his voice. It went without saying that he couldn’t share this information with anyone, save probably Matt who would also be notified.

 

Iverson shuffled the papers on his desk. “I would have liked to recommend Kogane to go with you as your co-pilot, but he’s too young, they wouldn’t have it. You and Holt push the limits of age as it is.”

 

Something in Shiro’s chest tightened. Keith was a year behind him and Matt, and the thought of leaving him behind was physically painful. Nothing was certain though, this was just the first step in a selection process that Shiro might not even clear. He could worry about it later.

 

Still, the unease lingered even after Shiro left Iverson’s office.

 

***

 

“What’s eating you?” Keith asked Shiro after an error on Shiro’s part resulted in them crashing out of the simulator.

 

They were co-piloting; something they liked to do to unwind. Normally it was fun, and normally Shiro didn’t make mistakes. But Shiro was distracted. After almost three weeks of keeping his mouth shut and having hushed discussions with Matt before bed, he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He flipped off the communication systems so their conversation would be private and turned toward Keith.

 

“Iverson recommended me for a mission after graduation,” Shiro said reluctantly.

 

He didn’t know why he’d tried so hard to keep this from Keith anyway. Maybe the weight of the label ‘classified’ had been what pushed him to fight the inevitable. Shiro was very bad at keeping things from Keith, and Keith was very good at reading Shiro. Matt thought it was uncanny but it made Shiro’s chest feel warm.

 

“Shiro, that’s awesome!” Keith grinned, practically beaming with pride.

 

“It’s nothing certain yet, evidently there’s a whole selection process” Shiro amended, but he relaxed even has he said it.

 

“You’ll get picked, you’re the best pilot here,” Keith said confidently. Realization crossed his face. “Matt got recommended too? No wonder you’ve both been acting odd.”

 

“It’s classified,” Shiro said sheepishly.

 

Keith snorted, as if he had anyone else to tell. Shiro and Matt were the only two people he was friends with.

 

***

 

Keith was, for the first time in a long time, comfortable. Classes pushed him to his limits, and his classmates weren’t always friendly, but he had support. He had friends that watched his back, made sure he ate three meals a day, and got a decent amount of sleep. If he wasn’t in the simulator with Shiro, Matt helped him with his school work, and the three of them were inseparable.

 

Keith dropped into his normal seat across from Matt at the lunch table, frowning when Shiro failed to appear as well.

 

“I don’t know,” Matt said before Keith could ask. “I wouldn’t worry though, Keith. Iverson probably wanted to chat with him or something.”

 

Keith’s frown deepened, and he pushed his tray forward as he stood. “I’ll be right back.”

  
“Keith…” Matt began, but Keith was already on the move. “Keith don’t—dammit.”

 

Matt got up as well with a sigh and hurried after him, abandoning his food. Nothing was ever easy with those two.

 

Keith found Shiro in the hallway, edged up against a wall by a ring of students. At first glance he looked calm, but Keith knew better from the way tension rippled up his jaw and the tight crossing of Shiro’s arms.

 

“How’d you do it Shiro? Did you tamper with the simulator or are you just so far up Iverson’s ass that he fudged your scores?” someone leered.

 

Keith bristled, hesitating just long enough to take in the crowd that Matt managed to get a hand around Keith’s forearm.

 

“Keith—” Matt warned, as Shiro said evenly, “I didn’t cheat.”

 

“Sure you didn’t,” said another boy with a scoff. He was a big kid, though not quite as big as Shiro, and he leaned threateningly into Shiro’s space. Shiro held his ground. “So, Shirogane. Gonna tell us your secrets?”

 

Keith had had enough. Despite Matt being the same size, he stood no chance when Keith ripped his arm free. Keith made himself seem bigger and elbowed his way through the crowd, unapologetic as people flinched back.

 

“Get away from him,” Keith snarled.

 

Shiro’s eyes went wide, “Keith.”

 

He probably should have done something to stop what happened next, but maybe it was inevitable. Keith was a force of nature, and Shiro knew it well. He’d hit the mat too many times because of it.

 

“Go away, Kogane. The adults are talking,” the other boy sneered without turning around.

 

All Shiro could think was _oh, that was a mistake._

 

Keith bared his teeth and grabbed the bigger cadet by the back of his shirt. In one practiced movement, he threw him over his hip. Everyone backed away as the boy hit the floor with a thump, knocking the wind out of him. It took a split second for him to regain his breath and surge up at Keith.  
  


“I’ll kill you!”

 

Keith simply punched him straight in the nose.

 

All hell broke loose.

 

Shiro shoved away from the wall, plowing through people to get to Keith, who’d been surrounded by the downed cadet’s friends. Matt was trying to do the same, but neither of them could keep the mob at bay.

 

In the end, Iverson and several teachers broke up the fight. Shiro didn’t get the chance to check on Keith before Iverson hauled off by the collar of his uniform.

 

***

 

“Shirogane,” Iverson said with no small amount of frustration when Shiro was seated in a chair in his office an hour later.

 

“Yes, sir?” Shiro responded stiffly.

 

“When you said you’d befriend Kogane, I did not take that to mean that he’d be your personal bodyguard.”

 

“He’s my friend,” Shiro gritted out. “I didn’t ask him to do this.”

 

Iverson looked ready to just put his head down on the desk and be done. “No, but somehow you inspired an incredible amount of loyalty in him.” The look he gave Shiro was calculating. “It’s what makes you a great leader rather than a good one.”

 

Shiro glared at the floor. “My leadership skills mean nothing when everyone thinks I’m cheating.”

 

Iverson laughed abruptly. “Are you _sulking_ Shirogane?”

 

Shiro instantly straightened up in his chair. “No! I mean… I don’t care what they think. I’m here to be the best.”

 

Iverson shot him a knowing look, but let it go. “Kogane probably will spend the afternoon in the infirmary, but tomorrow take one of the hoverbikes and let him cool off.” He paused, considering. “The rest of the cadets could use the time to cool off as well,” he said dryly. “Since Keith single-handedly kicked most of their asses.”

 

Shiro was torn between concern for Keith and pride. Iverson waved a dismissive hand and Shiro bolted to the infirmary, but the nurse stubbornly refused to let him in. Matt found him sulking in earnest in their room, sporting a fat lip to match Shiro’s split one.

 

“Here, I snagged you some lunch so you can eat before your next class,” Matt said, offering the sandwich to Shiro.

 

Shiro took it and begrudgingly wolfed it down, “Have you seen Keith?”

 

Matt shook his head. “Not since someone hauled him off to the infirmary. He really shouldn’t take on that many people at once.”

 

“It’s my fault,” Shiro said softly, and was immediately smacked upside the head.

 

“Shut up,” Matt said flatly. “He did it because he’s your friend, and because you damn well would have done the same for him, so don’t even start.”

 

Shiro gnawed on his bottom lip, and Matt exhaled heavily.

 

“We’re your friends, Shiro. Of course we’re gonna look out for you. Keith will be fine, he’s too stubborn to let a little scuffle slow him down,” Matt soothed.

 

Shiro nodded and excused himself to his next class.

 

***

 

When Matt returned to the room later that night, he was unsurprised to find Shiro sulking.

 

“He didn’t let you in again?” Matt asked sympathetically.

 

The nurse was a known hardass and could smell trouble from a mile away. Which was probably why he was keeping Keith secluded and far, far away from the students who likely wanted to get back at him.

 

Shiro pouted, “Even the puppy dog eyes didn’t work.”

 

Matt raised his eyebrows. The nurse was stronger than he thought, Shiro’s puppy dog eyes were impossible to resist.

 

“As impressive as that is, I managed to get in to see Keith,” Matt said smugly.

 

“What?! And you didn’t take me with you?” Shiro gasped, offended.

 

“You were in class,” Matt defended himself. “Besides, the favor was only good for one. I fixed his phone last month, so he owed me.”

 

Shiro eyed him but was unable to stay mad for longer than a few seconds. “What did Keith say?” he asked, honing in on what really mattered. “Was he in one piece?”

 

Matt looked skeptical. “Yee of little faith. He just has a black eye and a bloodied-up nose. Evidently Iverson had already been by to chat with him.”

 

Shiro relaxed visibly. “Iverson asked me to take him off base tomorrow so that all parties could cool their heels.”

 

“Ah, that makes sense. Keith said he’d see you in the morning,” Matt mused.

 

“I should have been able to see him, it’s my fault he’s in there,” Shiro mumbled, seemingly ready to resume sulking.

 

Matt swore that every time Shiro said ‘it’s my fault’ that he lost a year off his life. With a huff, he kicked off his boots so that he could peel one very sweaty, very slimy sock off his foot and wave it threateningly at Shiro.

 

“Don’t make me use this,” he warned. “Keith is fine, and you’ll see him tomorrow, okay?  
 

Shiro cringed away from the rancid sock. “Okay fine,” he grumbled.

 

Shiro had learned long ago not to bother resisting the stubbornness of the Holt family. Matt wasn’t even the worst of them. Shiro had met is younger sister Katie, and immediately vowed to never cross her. Small but mighty took on a whole new meaning with those two, especially because they scary smart.

 

Matt settled in to do his homework, and after sticking his tongue out at Matt, Shiro did the same.

 

***

 

Keith looked as if he’d been in a bar fight, but he supposed that it could have been worse. He tilted his head, intrigued by the interesting purple color his right eye was turning. Behind him, the nurse grunted.

  
“It’ll heal up fine. Just don’t pick any more fights, eh?” The nurse said gruffly.

 

Keith scowled. “I didn’t start the fight.”

 

“You laid hands on someone first,” the nurse pointed out, and held up his hands when Keith’s scowl deepened. “I know, I know, you’re protective of the Shirogane boy. But maybe you should protect your own face, hm?”

 

Keith shifted his gaze to the floor and didn’t answer. He didn’t know how to explain that he didn’t care much about what happened to him beyond survival. It’s not as if anyone else had cared either. Shiro, and Matt also, were people he wanted to hold on to. To protect. Their presence in his life, never taken for granted, was precious. Not taken for granted, no, but Keith feared the inevitable end. Good things did not last if your name was Keith Kogane.

 

The nurse bustled him out of the office with a concerned frown, which placed him right in Shiro’s arms.

 

“Keith!” he exclaimed, and wrapped Keith up in a hug that had Keith’s ribs creaking in protest.

 

Sometimes he was sure that Shiro didn’t know his own strength, but since he also sparred with Shiro, he was fairly certain that was complete bullshit.

 

“Hey Shiro,” Keith wheezed as Shiro set him down and started fretting over his face.

 

“I’m really sorry, Keith. It’s my fault you got involved,” Shiro said anxiously. “Next time just let me handle it, okay?”

 

Keith’s scowl, which had eased at the sight of Shiro, returned in full force. “You’re too polite, Shiro. You won’t stop them, and I won’t stand for them telling ridiculous lies about you.”

 

Shiro stared at Keith, debating whether this was a fight he could win. It wasn’t. He sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “I would prefer you didn’t fist fight people on my behalf, but I can’t stop you, so just try not to break your face doing it?”

 

Keith grinned wolfishly, “No promises.”

 

Shiro made a very put-upon noise. “C’mon, let’s get a hoverbike and get out of here for the day before someone else punches you.”

 

Keith rolled his eyes and took off down the hall, and Shiro had to hurry to catch up. He had a full head on Keith, if not more, but Keith’s legs were long. When Shiro fell into step with him, he dropped the keys into Keith’s palm.

 

Keith blinked at him, surprised, “But—”

 

Shiro shook his head. “You can drive. It’s not like Iverson doesn’t know that you’re experienced with hoverbikes,” he teased.

 

Keith scrunched his nose up. Shiro had told him a while back that Iverson knew all about the nights where Keith had stolen one of the Garrison hoverbikes and took off into the desert. Keith couldn’t understand why Iverson just let him do it, and it made him uneasy enough to stop doing it at all without Shiro along. Shiro, it seemed, had an agreement with Iverson that got him off the hook for a lot of things.

 

He wasn’t going to argue though. Helmet securely on his head, Keith slung a leg over the bike and waited until Shiro settled in behind him before he twisted the keys, bringing the engine to life. Shiro’s arms settled around his waist, sending a thrill up Keith’s spine that he pointedly ignored. There was no room to go around catching feelings for his best friend. Nope, definitely not.

 

“Ready?” he asked Shiro over the dull roar.

 

Shiro nodded, and Keith grinned as he launched the bike forward and peeled out of the hangar. It’d probably piss Iverson off, but Keith didn’t care. He was already gone in the bliss of flying, and Shiro’s warmth pressed up against his back was an added bonus.

 

Shiro was mostly silent, only tapping Keith’s right thigh to indicate that he wanted to take a different route than their usual. Keith pushed the bike to its limits before slowing down so that they could explore the unfamiliar terrain.

 

Eventually they stopped to stretch their legs, and to investigate the shack that had suddenly appeared on the horizon. It was dusty and mostly empty, but they poked around inside until Shiro suggested that they take lunch outside of the stuffy structure.

 

Keith assented, retrieving the packed lunch Shiro had brought from hoverbike. When he joined Shiro up on a large rock, Shiro was looking pensively out over the landscape. Keith passed him a sandwich and they ate in comfortable silence.

 

“Shiro, can I ask you something?” Keith said after a while, turning a small stone he’d picked up over in his hand. “You don’t have to answer it if you don’t want to.”

 

Shiro glanced over at Keith. The out that Keith had left him suggested that it was a serious or personal question.

 

“You can ask me anything, Keith,” he said quietly, and meant it. Keith had his trust.

 

Keith fiddled with the rock some more before looking up, meeting Shiro’s eyes directly.

 

“I don’t mean to be nosy, I was just… curious I guess. Why do you go by ‘Shiro’ instead of your full name?” Keith asked. To him, his name was the last lingering clue to his parentage, to a life he might have had. He wouldn’t give it up for anything.

 

Shiro dragged a hand through his messy forelock while he considered the question. Keith was silent, unassuming as he gave Shiro time to answer or not as he so chose.

 

There was a reason Shiro didn’t like to go by his first name, regardless of the fact that Takashi Shirogane was on all of his official paperwork. He’d introduced himself as Shiro when he first arrived at the Garrison, and even the teachers had picked up on the nuance quickly. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his name, it was just… when he heard it, all he could think of was his parents. Of their gentle smiles, ripped from him by a tragic car accident, an event that resulted in him being bounced between relatives. Others had nearly worn away the memory of his parent’s voices saying his name, and he’d fought it.

 

“My full name is all that I have left of my parents,” Shiro said, old sorrow coloring his tone. “I can still hear their voices say it, but when strangers started saying it after their death, it started to wear away at the memory. Started to replace it. And I didn’t want to lose that, so I changed to go by ‘Shiro’ instead. It’s shorter anyway.”

 

Keith’s expression shuttered. “I’m sorry about your parents,” he murmured.

 

Shiro offered him a small, sad smile. “They died in a car accident a long time ago. I think the worse part was bouncing between relatives afterwards. No one really wanted to take a heart broken kid.”

 

Keith recognized the unspoken bitterness there, and his eyes narrowed. It was a feeling to him as familiar as breathing. He was surprised though, that someone like Shiro, someone so good and bright, could have a background not so different from Keith’s own.

 

“Can I ask you a question in return?” Shiro asked, observing the turmoil on Keith’s face.

 

Keith tensed, expecting a question about his family, but nodded his assent anyway.

 

“Where did you learn to fight? You never did tell me,” Shiro said with a small grin.

 

He’d always wondered where and how such a small person learned to fight as ferociously as Keith did. Shiro had only gotten pieces of Keith’s backstory, as Keith was unwilling to share and Shiro refused to push him. All he knew was that Keith had no family, and nothing beyond that.

 

Keith raised an eyebrow but relaxed fractionally. “In one of my foster homes. I got beat up a lot, both at the orphanage and otherwise, but at one home there was a girl. She was small, smaller than me, but she saw me getting picked on after school. She offered to help. She was like me, out of the system, but she’d been adopted. Her background was… let’s just say interesting, but she was a good if not vicious teacher.”

 

Shiro tried not to frown at the unspoken. The thought of someone laying hands on Keith made his fingers clench into fists.

 

He must have failed at keeping the frown off his face, because Keith leaned over and gently bumped their shoulders together.

 

“Enough heavy stuff,” Keith said softly. “Tell me about the new aircraft they’re building.”

 

Shiro swallowed down his anger, letting it simmer softly in his stomach while he filled Keith in on some stuff he’d overheard the brass talking about a few days ago.

 

***

 

Shiro woke long before his alarm to Matt’s disgusted cry. When he rolled over, Matt was sitting on the floor, one sock in his hand, the other kicked halfway across the room. The second he realized that Shiro was awake and looking, he glared.

 

“He put toothpaste in my socks,” Matt wailed.

 

Shiro blinked and looked at Matt’s foot, which was indeed covered in toothpaste. “Maybe it’ll smell better now?” he offered with a sleepy smirk.

 

Matt chucked the other sock at him, which Shiro deflected with a lazy swat. “What did I do to deserve this?”

 

Shiro hummed. “You did insult his favorite movies.”

 

“He likes the prequels, Shiro, no one likes the prequels,” Matt huffed, offended.

 

Shiro shrugged, “I think he relates to Anakin.”

 

Matt winced. “Oh no, mullet meet rat-tail. Also Anakin becomes evil,” he reminded Shiro.

 

An eyeroll. “Keith isn’t going to become evil,” Shiro said evenly.

 

Matt eyed his toothpaste-covered toes. “Are you sure about that? He might already be there.”

 

Shiro laughed and rolled over, leaving Matt to mutter under his breath about revenge. The room smelled like toothpaste for the rest of the day.

 

***

 

Shiro knew immediately that leaving Keith at the Garrison for Thanksgiving was a massive mistake. He normally did holidays with the Holts, as per tradition since he’d become friends with Matt. The Holt family had been more than happy to take in Shiro as one of their own. But when Matt had extended the offer to Keith, Keith had politely declined with the excuse that he had a project to finish. Shiro should have been suspicious, Keith had gotten quiet leading up to the holiday season, but Shiro had chalked it up to end of the semester pressures.

 

Wrong, and wrong again.

 

Sitting at the dinner table, Matt on his right, and Katie on his left going on about some new tech, Shiro felt as if he’d been punched in the chest as realization hit him. He must have made a noise, because Matt looked sharply over at him. Shiro set his fork down.

 

“I’m sorry Mrs. Holt, I think I have to go,” he said politely, pushing back from the table.

 

Colleen got up as well, despite Shiro’s protests. “I’ll box up some food for you.” She eyed him for a moment. “And some for young Keith as well.”

 

Shiro managed a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

 

Matt’s piercing gaze settled on him. “Go check up on our misfit.”

 

Shiro nodded, worry making it hard to swallow. 

 

It took several insistent knocks on Keith’s dorm door to get him to open it. Honestly, Shiro was just thankful that Keith’s roommate had left for the holiday.

 

“Keith, open up, it’s me,” he said, balancing the boxes of food in the crook of his arm. Colleen had even thought to pack napkins and utensils for them.

 

Finally, Keith cracked the door open, his eyes suspiciously puffy. “What?” he growled.

 

Shiro was unfazed by the surly attitude. It was Keith’s preferred defense mechanism, and Shiro had learned to look past it. “I brought food. Can I come in?”

 

Keith considered him before stepping back to let Shiro into the room. The room was normal if not sparse, and Keith’s blankets were piled up in a mound as if he’d been nesting in them. Shiro set the food down on the desk and Keith silently climbed back into his bed.

 

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Shiro asked gently.

 

Keith shook his head, and Shiro accepted that for now.

 

“How about some food? Mrs. Holt makes some mean stuffing,” Shiro said, trying to be casual about wafting the smell in Keith’s direction. He got a suspicious but interested frown for his efforts.

 

Then, a slow nod.

 

Shiro kept his relief to himself and popped the lid off one of the containers, sticking a fork in it before passing it to Keith. Slender hands accepted the offering and Shiro busied himself with his own dinner before taking up residence on the floor. Things got quiet; Shiro kept to his own meal and let Keith eat in peace. Keith, he’d learned, responded best to patience. No amount of poking or prying could get him to talk, and frankly it made things worse.

 

Finished with his dinner, Shiro set his empty box aside and leaned back against the wall, eyes closed as he let loose a soft sigh. The room was still until a quiet rustle announced that Keith was getting off the bed. Shiro didn’t open his eyes; only lifted an arm so that a blanket-burrito Keith could tuck himself under it.

 

Keith settled his head on Shiro’s shoulder, pressed close enough that Shiro could feel the slight tremble. His eyes still closed, he drew Keith closer. Keith eventually relaxed, going all soft around the edges as he drew comfort from Shiro.

 

“You didn’t have to come back for me,” Keith mumbled, breaking the long-standing silence.

 

Shiro eased his eyes open. “Yes, I did. You’re my best friend, and something is clearly upsetting you.”

 

Keith turned his face into Shiro’s shoulder in denial, but Shiro waited him out, tracing soothing shapes onto Keith’s back with his free hand.

 

“I hate the holidays,” Keith said, so quietly that Shiro had to strain to hear him.

 

That didn’t surprise Shiro in the least. His knowledge of Keith’s life in foster care was shaky at best, but he could understand. Holidays were hard for people without family, and people who’d lost loved ones. There wasn’t a Christmas that passed without Shiro thinking about his parents.

 

“I’m sorry,” Shiro murmured. “Can I help?”

 

“Everyone leaves eventually,” was Keith’s bitter answer.

 

Shiro frowned. “I’m not leaving you, and neither is Matt.”

 

Keith made a watery, disbelieving noise and Shiro squeezed him.

 

“I’m not leaving you,” Shiro repeated firmly. He placed his chin atop Keith’s head, as if that could further prove his statement.

 

Keith tensed in his arms, and for a moment, Shiro thought he was going to wriggle free. Instead, Keith let out a long, shaky sigh.

 

“I don’t deserve to have you or Matt,” Keith whispered, and Shiro desperately wanted to snarl at whoever had put that idea in Keith’s head.

 

“That’s nonsense,” Shiro said shortly. “Friendship and love are not something one can _deserve_ , Keith. Those things are gifts, and humans need them to survive. People don’t ever get what they deserve anyway, good or bad.”

 

Keith took that in. Whether or not he believed it, Shiro couldn’t tell, but it was enough to settle him. For now.

 

***

 

Winter break was worse than Thanksgiving. Matt again extended the Holt’s hospitality, though this time he knew that it would be rejected. Keith was polite about it, but both Shiro and Matt knew what the answer would be even before Matt asked. Shiro couldn’t begrudge Keith his own way of handling things, but he did wish that Keith would open himself up to the warmth of a family like the Holts. Katie would probably love Keith instantly. Colleen already fussed over him the few opportunities she’d gotten.

 

Shiro decided that instead of spending winter break with Matt, he’d stay with Keith at the Garrison instead. Keith fought this tooth and nail, but Shiro wouldn’t budge. He wasn’t going to let Keith be alone during the holidays, regardless of what he said.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay, Shiro?” Matt fretted.

 

He was in the midst of packing for several days at home. Shiro had insisted that he stay the whole break with his family, but Matt had stubbornly resolved to be back before New Year’s.

 

Shiro smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure, go spend time with your family. I’ll bet that Katie is looking forward to seeing you.”

 

It was best not to disappoint Matt’s younger sister, who looked up to him. Matt made a face. He knew as well as Shiro did that Katie would be very displeased if her brother didn’t come home for the holidays.

 

Matt threw his arms around Shiro in an overenthusiastic hug that Shiro returned with a small smile.

 

“Save travels, Matt,” Shiro murmured.

 

“You’d better look after our boy,” Matt grumbled, and pulled back.

 

Shiro snorted but found himself smiling fondly anyway. “You know I will.”

 

This seemed to amuse Matt greatly, and he was smiling on his way out the door for reasons Shiro didn’t try to understand.

 

***

 

“You know you didn’t have to stay, right?” Keith said for the fifth time after Matt left.

 

Shiro raised a single eyebrow at him, “Keith.”

 

Keith threw himself onto Shiro’s bed with a soft whine. “But Shiro—” he protested, only to get a pillow chucked at his head. He ducked, and finally let it go.

 

Keith still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Shiro would rather stay at the Garrison with him when Shiro could have just as easily gone to Matt’s house. Everything Keith knew about the Holt family told him that their family gathering would be much more enjoyable than staying in the dorms.

 

Shiro had made up his mind though, and Keith knew better than to push him. Instead, he leaned over the side of the bed to see what Shiro has been working on while Keith was having a moment.

 

“Are those… snowflakes?” Keith asked, disbelieving.

 

Shiro was a top-notch pilot and a star student, who most certainly was not cutting out paper snowflakes on his dorm room floor.

 

“Yes,” Shiro said, just a tad bit defensively.

 

Keith laughed, rolling over onto his back so that his torso was dangling dangerously off the lower bunk, and his view of Shiro was upside down.

 

“No, it’s cute,” Keith reassured him, and meant it. “Are you going to hang them up in here?”

 

“Yeah,” Shiro answered, relaxing. “I kind of miss snow at this time of year. It’s so weird to be in the desert when everyone is going on about a white Christmas.”

 

Keith huffed quietly. “I don’t recall ever having seen snow except like, on television. I’ve always lived in places too warm for it.”

 

Shiro looked affronted. “I’m going to have to take you north sometime then, just so you can experience it.”

 

Keith smiled, a broad one that lit his face up. “I’d like that.”

 

Shiro hummed and ducked his face back to cutting paper so that Keith wouldn’t catch the tinge of red on his cheeks.

 

***

 

Shiro insisted that they wait until Matt returned to give their holiday gifts. Keith, who had never exchanged gifts with anyone in his life, panicked because it hadn’t even occurred to him. He vanished for a solid portion of the day after that, leaving Shiro to watch movies on the couch.

 

Shiro, who was napping peacefully by the time Keith got back, said nothing about it, though it was in the back of his mind when Matt finally returned.

 

“Did you miss me?” Matt chirped as he thunked his luggage down on the floor.

 

Keith, who was sprawled out on the floor, said “No,” as Shiro said, “Of course.”

 

Matt flipped Keith off. “Thanks, Shiro. I can always count on your love.”

 

Shiro grinned, smug. He leaned back in his chair, playfully arching a brow at Matt. “Presents time?”

 

Matt pretended to think about it. “Hell yeah! Up and at ‘em Keith, let’s do this!”

 

He tried to nudge Keith’s side with his foot, but Keith grabbed his boot and dragged him down, squawking and all.

 

“See if I got you anything,” Matt grumbled, but it was all for show.

 

Opening presents was a strange experience for Keith. It wasn’t a tradition he’d ever really been allowed to participate in, and it was overwhelming.

 

Matt got him a multitool that was surprisingly handy. Keith foresaw himself picking locks with it, which was surely Matt’s intention. The piece of tech Keith gave Matt in return made his friend squeal. Keith had haggled for it and wasn’t entirely sure what it did, but Matt’s reaction was worth it. Shiro gave Matt a pair of headphones, ‘so you stop complaining about me being noisy when you study.’ Keith didn’t recognize what Matt gave Shiro, only that Shiro was in stitches on the floor for several minutes.

 

Keith was gnawing on the inside of his cheek when he passed his clumsily wrapped gift to Shiro. His sewing was only passable and he hadn’t had a lot of time, but he was fairly pleased with how it turned out. He just hoped Shiro liked it.

 

Shiro unwrapped it with care, smiling at the pillow inside. He ran his fingers over the galaxy pattern, tracing the constellations.

 

“Keith, it’s beautiful, thank you. Did you make it?” Shiro asked, beaming.

 

Matt mimed gagging but neither one of them saw him.

 

Keith shrugged his shoulders by way of confirmation. “You like to hold things when you sleep, and they only issue us one pillow.”

 

Shiro passes over a small wrapped gift. “Here, open this and then I have something to show you.”

 

Keith’s brows furrowed in confusion but he unwrapped a pair of fingerless gloves that are so much like Shiro’s. He slid them on, amazed that the fit perfectly. Shiro was watching him fondly when he looked up. “Thank you—” Keith began, only to be cut off by Shiro shaking his head,

 

“Don’t thank me yet, c’mon, we’re going down to the hangar.”

 

Matt waved them off and Keith took off down the hall after Shiro, who was booking it more than usual.

 

In the back of the hangar, a drop cloth was draped over a familiar shape.

 

“Keith,” Shiro said, drawing him up short. “Hold your hand out.”

 

 Palm turned obediently upwards, Keith stared disbelievingly at Shiro as Shiro dropped a key into his hand. He didn’t even have to tell Keith to stay put as he went to pull away the drop cloth because Keith was frozen in place.

 

“I got the deed put in both our names so that they can’t ever be assholes about it, and I wanted it to be yours as much as mine,” Shiro babbled.

 

When the cloth fell away at last, and Keith was staring at the familiar red of his father’s hoverbike, he made a choked sound that ripped through his chest.

 

“Shiro… how?” he managed to get out.

 

Keith had never come clean to Shiro about his father’s hoverbike, it hurt too much to think about most days. He’d been young when his father died, too young for them to allow him to keep it when they put him in foster care. He’d always dreamed of getting it back, and Shiro…

 

“I know it was your father’s,” Shiro said softly, coming back over to put a concerned hand on Keith’s shoulder. “I’ve had money stashed away from my parents’ death that I’ve never wanted to touch before, but this… this seemed like the right thing.”

 

Keith threw himself at Shiro and was relieved when strong arms caught him and held him tightly. “How—how are you real?” he stammered through barely contained sobs.

 

Shiro would have had to remember an unimportant day in a dusty parking lot, something even Keith barely recalled, to know that.

 

“I dunno, but when you’re ready, we can take her for a spin,” Shiro answered lightly, affectionately ruffling Keith’s hair.

 

Keith’s face was buried in Shiro’s shoulder but his answer was loud and clear.

 

“ _Yes.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girl who taught Keith to fight is a homage to Renee Walker from All For the Game because she is best girl and would totally do that. Also goddamn I want to write carefree OG Garrison trio forever because they're such good boys. Hope ya'll are enjoying because on next week's episode: Heartbreak.


	3. Chapter 3

Shiro watched Keith clench his teeth in frustration as he failed out of the simulation for the third time. Shiro was teaching him a new maneuver, one that was far more advanced than what he was learning in class, but Shiro had confidence in Keith’s abilities.

 

“Patience yields focus,” Shiro said evenly, resting a hand on Keith’s shoulder. Touch, he’d found, always seemed to help ground Keith.

 

Keith spared him a cursory glance, but Shiro saw Keith mouth the words quietly to himself. The tension Shiro had been able to feel under his palm eased, and Shiro smiled. This time, Keith executed the maneuver with precision.

 

“Well done, Keith,” Shiro murmured, beaming.

 

Keith twisted around in his seat to give Shiro a rare, hundred-watt smile. “Patience yields focus huh? Did you pull that out of your ass?”

 

Shiro shrugged sheepishly. “It’s something I’ve always told myself.”

 

Keith raised his eyebrows. He’d never seen a real display of impatience from Shiro, but he’d seen enough hints to know that Shiro worked hard at it. It was just another thing that most people didn’t recognize about Shiro. They thought the calm, serious demeanor was something that came naturally to Shiro, but Keith knew better. That public face was nothing more than a mask.

 

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Keith allowed.

 

He did more than that, really. It became a saying traded between them enough that Matt threatened to make it into a drinking game.

 

***

 

After the holidays, rumors started circulating about a mission to Kerberos. Shiro and Matt took them with a grain of salt. There would always be gossip, the Garrison practically ran on it. Gossip like that, in particular, was useful in getting cadets to work harder with such a lofty goal in mind. As Matt commented snidely to Shiro over lunch, that was fairy-tale quality, considering that Kerberos was farther out in the solar system than any manned-mission had gone before. Keith snorted so hard that he was in danger of his peas coming out of his nose.

 

Shiro was less skeptical. “They have something big in the works,” he disagreed with a casual shrug. “Who’s to say that it couldn’t be Kerberos?”

 

Matt rolled his eyes as he chased a pea around his plate with his fork. “At least be realistic Shiro. Do you know how far out Pluto’s moons are? How long it would take to get there?”

 

Keith smiled down at his plate as Shiro tried to argue with Matt, only to be drowned out by Matt’s lengthy dissertation on the technicalities of space travel. Once Matt got going, there was no stopping him. Shiro eventually gave up with a huff to sulkily finish his lunch.

 

Keith bumped him gently under the table with his knee. “You know better than to let him get going about his research,” Keith told Shiro out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes crinkled in amusement.

 

Shiro grumbled under his breath. “He won’t ever stop.”

 

Matt, without even pausing for breath, said “I know you assholes are talking about me, just because I’m right…”

 

Before Shiro could even thunk his head down on the table, Matt was back to whatever he’d been talking about, and Keith was laughing so hard that he was close to tears.

 

***

 

Shiro, it turned out, was actually the one who was right. He and Matt were dragged out of bed at some ungodly late hour by a persistent knock on their door. When Shiro opened the door, he was startled to find uniformed officer waiting impatiently.

 

“Shirogane and Holt are to report to Iverson’s office in 5, no questions.”

 

Shiro blinked the sleep out of his eyes. “Yes sir,” he responded robotically, and shut the door while he and Matt struggled into their uniforms, bleary eyed with sleep.

 

“Why the hell are they dragging us out of bed?” Matt grumped, covering a yawn as he buttoned his shirt. “Do you think Keith did something?”

 

Shiro frowned. “I hope not.”

 

Upon entering Iverson’s office, Shiro was shocked to find multiple high-level brass waiting for them. He stopped abruptly to come to attention, and Matt almost slammed into his back.

 

“Sorry to get you out of bed at this hour,” Iverson said, sounding not the least bit apologetic. “We thought it the best way to avoid having this meeting noticed.”

 

Shiro waited, because clearly there was a punch-line coming. Beside him, Matt finally looked awake, his eyes brimming with curiosity.

 

One of the brass spoke up, “I have the pleasure of announcing that both of you have been chosen for the three-man mission to Pluto’s moon Kerberos, along with Samuel Holt. Shirogane will pilot, and Holt will assist the elder with his research.”

 

If Shiro hadn’t been in shock, he would have doubled over laughing because Matt had been so, so wrong. Kerberos? It was an opportunity that Shiro had only ever dreamed of, and knew Matt felt similarly.

 

“It would be an honor,” Shiro said, lifting his chin.

 

Matt echoed him, and time passed strangely as details were hashed out. They’d begin training soon, and then have most of the summer after graduation to prepare.

 

“This is top-secret until we make a public address, speak of it to no one.”

 

Shiro and Matt nodded. Iverson eyed them suspiciously, knowing their close friendship with Kogane.

 

“That is all then, for this meeting. We will continue this conversation at another time and detail the training required. Iverson will set up an excuse for you.”

 

Iverson nodded, and Shiro and Matt were finally allowed to go back to their bed. Not that they were able to sleep at all.

 

“Kerberos,” Matt breathed from where he laid staring at the ceiling.

 

Shiro smirked. “Guess who was right?”

 

“You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?” Matt said, resigned.

 

Shiro laughed. “Not a chance. The whole trip I’m going to give you so much hell.”

 

Matt muffled his groan in his pillow, and they were silent for a moment.

 

“I can’t believe it honestly,” Shiro said quietly into the dark.

 

Matt huffed in agreement. “Can you imagine though? We’re going to go farther than any man has before.”

 

Shiro couldn’t help but feel awed at the thought.

 

“We’re telling Keith, right?” Shiro asked.

 

There was no hesitation in Matt’s response. “Yes. He won’t blab, and I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep it from him.”

 

“Tomorrow up on the roof? So that there’s no chance of being overheard?” Shiro suggested.

 

Matt rolled over and got comfortable in his bed. “Sounds good to me. Goodnight, Shiro.”

 

“Goodnight, Matt.”

 

***

 

Shiro and Matt spent the following day swinging between excitement and outright shock. Keith watched them over lunch with half-lidded eyes, unsure if he should be suspicious or concerned. Shiro had already promised a rooftop meeting tonight, but it didn’t ease the insistent itch.

 

Keith slipped onto the roof at the appointed time and was unsurprised to find Matt and Shiro already there, passing back and forth what looked like a bottle of vodka. That, at least, eased Keith’s fear that this was some kind of intervention. Or worse, that they’d mutually decided not to be friends with him anymore.

 

“Keith!” Shiro beamed. “Come sit.”

 

Matt scrunched his nose and scooted over on the blanket to make room, letting Keith claim the spot next to Shiro. His eyes flickered between the two as Keith plopped down and Shiro, who was admittedly already a bit tipsy, slung an arm over Keith’s shoulder and leaned in.

 

“Whatever you two have been sitting on all day, spit it out,” Keith grumbled, his stomach churning with a strange mixture of amusement and unease.

 

Shiro and Matt exchanged a loaded look, and Keith scowled impatiently.

 

“Both of us were chosen for the manned-mission to Kerberos with Matt’s dad,” Shiro blurted, and winced.

 

“It’s classified,” Matt explained to a bemused Keith, rolling his eyes.

 

Keith’s face broke out into a grin. “Kerberos? Seriously? That’s incredible, no one has ever been that far out. You’ll make history!”

 

Shiro smiled crookedly. “I might be a little bit excited about it.”

 

Keith gave Shiro’s shoulder an enthusiastic shove, “You’d better be excited about it, my best friends are going to Kerberos! You’re going to pilot!”

 

Matt snagged the bottle of vodka and took a swig, wincing as it burned all the way down. Next time they were getting peach schnapps or something. Shiro and Keith bent their heads together, getting absorbed in flight techniques and a whole bunch of jargon that Matt knew nothing about.

 

They were something together, Keith and Shiro, and Matt didn’t have it in him to be jealous about it. They just _clicked_ , and Matt knew damn well from the way that Shiro looked at Keith that there was something more there. Keith, utterly oblivious, looked at Shiro as if he’d hung the moon. Matt grimaced around another sip of vodka. They should just kiss and get it over with, not that Shiro would ever put the moves on Keith. And Keith… Keith was too insecure in his own worth to dare do it. God, Matt was going to have to listen to Shiro go on about Keith for the whole trip, trapped in the tin can with no hope of escape. He eyed the vodka bottle and wondered if he could sneak it on with him, he’d need it.

 

For the present though, Matt was stuck waiting for the realization that they were going to be separated for two years to smack Keith and Shiro in the face.

 

***

 

Understanding came to Keith in the quiet darkness of his own room, thudding into his psyche like a punch to the gut. All the air left his lungs, snatched away by the comprehension of a future loss. Hadn’t Matt just told them over lunch last week how far it was to Kerberos? They’d be gone at least a year, maybe two. Keith had gotten far too comfortable having company, had put a lid of the yawning cavern of loneliness that lived inside of him.

 

Two years without Matt’s jokes, which Keith pretended to hate but secretly loved, and without Matt’s companionable help and company when Shiro was away.

 

Shiro.

 

The thought of going two years without Shiro’s hand on his shoulder, his quiet advice, cheesy grins, and gentle understanding of Keith made Keith scrunch up on himself. There were no words for the void that Shiro had filled, how far his friendship had gone toward patching up the cracks. Keith tucked his knees to his chest and held on as the fear rippled off him in waves.

 

Fear of loss, fear of being utterly alone in the world once again.

 

Keith tried to convince himself that it was okay, he was used to being alone. He’d survived it once, and he could survive it again. But now that he’d had a taste of what life could be like… he didn’t want to go back to the way it was.

 

Somehow, Shiro had become irreplaceable. Keith couldn’t name the emotions he felt toward his friend, they were too complex and twisted up to make any sense out of. One thing was certain though; Shiro meant everything, and was everything, to Keith.

 

Keith drew in several deep, slow breaths to soothe his racing heart, quiet as not to wake his roommate. He counted backwards from one hundred until his mind cleared. Shiro would come back, Matt would come back, and when they returned, Keith would graduate. Then, they could go on missions together, like they’d practiced in the simulator.

 

If Keith held on to that vision, held on to that dream, he could make it the two years. He had to, because there was nothing he wanted to do more than fly with Shiro.

 

A grim smile spread over his lips as he closed his eyes. He could do it, and he’d do his best to support them.

 

***

 

“Matt,” Shiro said quietly, when he couldn’t stand to stare at the underside of Matt’s bunk for another second.

 

Matt shifted, rolling over on his shoulder so that he could hear better. “Yeah Shiro?”

 

“I—” he began, then stopped, jaw working. If he said the words allowed and enlightened Matt about his feelings, there was no turning back.

 

“This is about Keith, right?” Matt said tiredly. “The trip out and back to Kerberos is long. You’re going to miss him, aren’t you?”

 

Shiro was stunned into silence.

 

Matt gave a disgruntled sigh and stuck his head over the edge of the bed. “Yes, Shiro, for those of us with eyes, you’re very obvious.”

 

Shiro made a noise of protest low in his throat that made Matt laugh. “I don’t feel that way about Keith,” Shiro disagreed.

 

Matt just laughed harder. It was the hysterical, deranged-sounding laugh that normally made the hairs on the back of Shiro’s neck stand up.

 

Shiro buried his face in his hands. “Fine, Matt, _fine._ I have more-than-friends feelings for Keith. Are you happy now?”

 

Matt paused his laughing to suck in some air. “Maybe. Are you gonna do anything about it?”

 

Shiro frowned. “No, of course not. Keith doesn’t feel that way about me, and I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

 

Matt had the strong urge to bang his head against the wall. “Are you sure? Maybe you should just ask him,” he said carefully. 

 

It was no use, Shiro was stubbornly locked into his decision. “Keith doesn’t hear about this,” Shiro said flatly, leaving no room for argument.

 

Head meet wall was becoming more and more appealing. “Okay,” Matt agreed, because there wasn’t anything else he could do.

 

The awful mutual pining was going to be the end of him for sure.

 

***

 

Keith and Shiro made the most of the time between Shiro’s graduation and the launch by spending as much time as possible in the desert, zipping around on the hoverbike. Often times Shiro had training and Keith had classwork for his summer classes, but they stole every little bit of time that they could. It felt too fleeting and too precious not to.

 

They were sitting out on a rock under the stars when Shiro turned to Keith. “Hey,” he said quietly, drawing Keith’s attention.

 

“Hmmm?” Keith answered absently.

 

“You know that the Kerberos mission isn’t going to change this right,” Shiro said, gesturing between them.

 

“I know,” Keith said softly. “But I’ll miss you Shiro.”

 

There was so much in his expression that Shiro couldn’t process it all. Keith had been supportive of both him and Matt throughout the entire process, but it was wearing him down bit by bit.

 

“Call me Takashi,” Shiro rushed the words out, and Keith stared at him.

 

“But I thought—” Keith said, confused and overwhelmed. Shiro had told him quietly a while ago why he didn’t go by his given name, and this…

 

“Please,” Shiro said quietly. “I want to hear how it sounds when you say it.”

 

Keith took a shuddering breath and let it roll off his tongue. “Takashi,” he said, with all the feeling that swelled in his chest.

 

Shiro was silent so long that Keith started to panic. “Did I say it wrong?”

 

Shiro shook his head, smiling even as his eyes gleamed with moisture in the low light. “No. No, Keith. You said it perfectly.”

 

Keith’s smiled and nearly sent Shiro into cardiac arrest. “I’m glad you think so, Takashi.”

 

Shiro had no words. All he could do was drag Keith into a ferocious hug that conveyed the emotions raging in his chest. He thought Keith understood, based on the way Keith’s arms settled around him in return.

 

Leaving was going to be so hard.

 

***

 

The night before the launch, Keith was sitting on the edge of Shiro’s bed. Matt was off somewhere going over last-minute details with his bed, so it was just him and Shiro. Shiro, who’d been previously finishing up his packing, dropped a brown paper-wrapped package in Keith’s lap.

 

“What’s this?” Keith frowned.

 

“An early birthday present, since I’m going to miss it. Go on, open it,” Shiro said, shrugging.

 

The gesture was all Shiro could do to mask the chasm that threatened to rip open in his chest every time he thought about leaving Keith.

 

Keith continued to frown, but the expression gave way to awe as he ripped the paper open. The jacket, designed for riding, was cherry red.

 

“Shiro…” Keith whispered, gripping the jacket hard enough to turn his knuckles white.

 

“Oh, and there’s this,” Shiro said, digging the hoverbike keys out of his pocket. He held them out to Keith, who was frozen in place. “I know you’ll take good care of her for us while I’m gone. Just try not to give Iverson too many gray hairs, okay?”

 

Keith made a choked noise as Shiro dropped the keys into his palm, fingers closing instinctively around them. Two breaths, and then he launched himself at Shiro, who caught him with easy familiarity. Keith turned his face into Shiro’s shoulder to hide the tears escaping him, and Shiro pressed his cheek to Keith’s soft hair.

 

“I’m going to miss you so much,” Shiro murmured. His throat was tight with the tears he was trying to hold back.

 

“Me too,” Keith rasped, “Me too.”

 

The heartache in his voice was enough to free a tear and it slid down Shiro’s cheek into Keith’s hair. Shiro was so lucky to be able to have Matt going to Kerberos with him, but it wasn’t enough. Matt was his best friend, but he wasn’t _Keith_. Leaving Keith behind on Earth felt like leaving a limb behind: painful and wrong. Shiro tightened his arms around Keith as a suppressed sob wracked his smaller frame.

 

Keith tilted his head back so that he could look Shiro in the eye. His own were rimmed in red and puffy, but his gaze was insistent and ferocious.

 

“You’d better come back,” Keith gritted out, and Shiro could hear the implied echo: come back to _me_.

 

God, Shiro wanted to press a kiss to his forehead, to his mouth to reassure him that he’d always come back.

 

Those thoughts were not to be acted on, it wasn’t fair to Keith. Shiro would nurse his growing feelings for Keith quietly, and not let it affect their friendship. Especially not when he was about to be gone for two years. Matt insisted that Shiro should just tell Keith, but Shiro refused. When he got back from the mission, Keith would be a Garrison graduate with a bright future of his own. Shiro didn’t want to limit him by tying him down.

 

“I’m coming back, Keith, I promise,” Shiro said firmly.

 

Keith stared at him, and then deciding to believe Shiro, dropped his head back onto Shiro’s shoulder with a heavy sigh. Shiro really shouldn’t live so much for the physical contact between them, but oh boy did he. It blurred lines more often than it didn’t and Shiro knew it. Matt often gave him raised eyebrow looks over it.

 

Shiro should be better, but he still let Keith crash in his bed that night. It was something that happened occasionally, where they slept without touching even if Shiro wanted to snuggle Keith. Matt said nothing about it when he returned from his meeting; only engaged Keith in a very technical conversation about rocket engines that made Shiro’s head ache. It was a distraction for Keith, and when their heads finally hit the pillow, Shiro was grateful to Matt because Keith breathed easier.

 

***

 

Launch day.

 

Shiro’s stomach was a knot of anxiety. Matt looked green but determined as he stumbled to the bathroom to get ready. Most of their belongings were packed to go into storage, but Shiro had a box set aside with things he would prefer to entrust to Keith. Keith had already agreed to keep it in his room, he had scant belongings anyway.

 

They came back together at breakfast, where Matt was fretfully pushing his scrambled eggs around his plate. Keith dropped into his normal seat, his eyes clear as he gently swatted the back of Matt’s head.

 

“Eat your food, don’t play with it,” he scolded.

 

Matt glared half-heartedly at him but obediently shoveled the eggs into his mouth. Keith turned his attention to Shiro, an eyebrow quirked as he assessed whether Shiro also needed to be bullied into breakfast. Shiro met his gaze and pointedly bit down on his toast. Keith’s lips spread into a thin smile. It wasn’t as bright as Shiro had come to expect from Keith, but today that was okay. The amount of steel that Keith was displaying now was enough to put Shiro’s heart in his mouth.

 

Eventually they made it out to the launch site, where the rest of the Holts met up with them. Katie was bouncing up and down, Matt’s glasses balanced precariously on her nose as she chattered about the specs of their craft. Keith stared at her wide-eyed before Shiro dropped a hand on his shoulder and steered him away.

 

“She’s something, isn’t she,” Shiro said, amused as he leaned in close to Keith.

 

“A menace? God help us all when she gets into the Garrison,” Keith huffed.

 

“You have that to look forward to for sure,” Shiro chuckled. “She’s a good kid though.”

 

Keith nodded. “She’s related to Matt, she couldn’t be anything else.”

 

Shiro smiled to himself and dragged Keith off to show him the ship, an arm draped comfortably over his shoulders.

 

The final goodbye, just before they got settled into their positions, was the hardest.

 

Keith hugged Matt first and then allowed Shiro to gather him up in a bone-crushing hug. Shiro had to swipe tears off both their faces as Keith pulled back to give him a watery smile.

 

“Travel safe, Takashi. I expect you back here or I’ll come looking for you myself,” Keith said softly. It was taking everything he had to keep himself together.

 

Shiro leaned forward so that his forehead rested against Keith’s. “I’ll count on that. Be well, Keith. I’ll be back before you know it.”

 

“I hope so,” Keith breathed. Because things wouldn’t be easy while his only friends were gone.

 

Shiro hugged him one last time, and then he and Matt were lead away by the Garrison ground crew.

 

***

 

Keith stood next to Katie Holt as the thrusters started kicking off heat. His jaw was locked so tight that he was sure it would ache later, but he kept his chin up. He was so, so proud of Shiro and Matt, no matter how much this hurt. He’d survived so much already, he could survive this too.

 

Katie must have caught the expression on his face because he was startled out of his thoughts by a tap on his elbow. Keith glanced over to find a small hand waiting, palm up in offering. He would have turned it down, had it not been for the ferocious glint in the hazel eyes that gazed up at him. So much like Matt. Abruptly Keith remembered that her brother and father were on that rocket. He took the offered hand and was surprised at the strength of the fingers that squeezed his.

 

Keith squeezed back, and they both turned their attention to the launch. Neither of them looked away until their loved ones were nothing but a speck in the sky.

 

No words were spoken, but Keith couldn’t help but look forward to when Katie Holt came to the Garrison. He dared think that he might have at least one friendly face.

 

***

 

Keith was gone from the Garrison before Katie, under the alias “Pidge Gunderson,” ever enrolled.

 

He tried, he really did try to stay.

 

The day that the Kerberos mission was announced missing due to pilot error, Keith took off into the desert. He’d held on so long without Shiro and Matt, made it almost a year on his own. It was not the best year; he was either eating, sleeping, or in the simulator for most of it. Without Matt to tutor him in his classes, he had to work harder, but he got by. It wasn’t like he had anything to do in his free time anyway.

 

But to keep on going in a world where his friends no longer existed? Keith wasn’t that strong. He pushed the hoverbike to the limit as he shot across the desert, willfully ignoring the consequences. When he couldn’t keep himself together any longer he stalled the hoverbike and tumbled ungracefully off of it.

 

There were no words for the agony that threatened to erupt from Keith’s chest. He couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do _anything_. Sand crumbled between his fingers as he hunched over, knees digging into the unforgiving desert terrain. Keith should have been worried about scorpions, about being found, but for once, survival was the last thing on his mind.

 

Above him, the moon shone in all her glory, full and beaming as it cast shadows on the barren landscape. Any other day, Keith found the moon soothing. He found space in general soothing. Tonight… tonight he felt betrayed. Space had taken something he loved, and like the greedy thing she was, refused to give them back. Keith didn’t know how to live without them.

 

“Give them back,” he yelled, screamed, into the darkness. “Give _him_ back!”

 

His shoulders shook with the effort of holding himself upright, and his throat was raw. What was the point? What was the point when everyone he ever cared about left him?

 

***

 

When he returned to the Garrison, he faced Iverson in silence. The dressing down he got for running off fell on deaf ears. Keith was numb.

 

The teachers were concerned about him, but Keith didn’t care. He didn’t care about a single thing in this goddamn universe. Keith went back to classes, but he might has well not have been present. He snapped at people who talked in hushed whispers about pilot error, and then there was a breaking point.

 

Someone, knowing full well they were in earshot of Keith, said snidely, “Pilot error? I told you Shirogane was a cheat. It’s what he deserves.”

 

For Keith, it was an out of body experience. The rage that exploded out of him from where it’d been living deep in his chest took on a life of its own. He lashed out with his fists, and it took an ungodly number of instructors to pull him back. Iverson got caught Keith’s hurricane, a hit to his eye that sent him staggering back.

 

After that, Keith was done. They expelled him without hesitation, and Keith didn’t care. He didn’t want to be here anyway. There was no point in chasing the dream he’d shared with Shiro: to pilot together. Shiro was gone.

 

***

 

Keith went to the shack in the desert that was all that remained of his childhood. He took his few belongings, the box of Shiro’s most precious belongings, and the hoverbike. The Garrison couldn’t stop him, evidently Shiro had been serious about putting Keith’s name on the deed for the hoverbike. He smuggled whatever food he could and spent the first week in a haze.

                                                                                         

Somehow, he made the shack habitable. Keith had lived in worse places, and this wasn’t really living anyway. More like existing. He went into survival mode for the first few months.

 

He worked odd jobs in town to supplement what was left of his Garrison allowance and ignored all attempts by concerned onlookers to help him. It wasn’t until something _pulled_ him deeper into the desert that he started to open his eyes with a purpose again.

 

Something out there demanded that Keith find it, and he threw himself into the search. He didn’t know what it was, only that it was important. His Garrison classes became useful as he created maps and analyses, pinning them up on a cork board he’d found abandoned on the side of the road. The hieroglyphs were what fascinated him the most.

 

They depicted a lion that Keith could have sworn was robotic, and it sang out to him, though it sounded just a bit out of tune.

 

He kept looking until a ship plummeted out of the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo that's it for now, I have half a mind to write a bit more focusing on Pidge and Keith's friendship and the reunion when I don't have so many projects going at once. Thanks for coming along for the ride guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> As always, come yell at me on tumblr @ carry-a-world <3


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